Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

Communication is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Maintaining a good relationship requires sincerity, understanding, and an enduring capacity to forgive. Sometimes we experience really difficult periods in our lives. We depend extensively on our parents or friends or others close to us for their love and support — but have you noticed how we often hurt the ones closest to us when we are experiencing pain, despair, and frustration? This is perhaps because they love us, are complaisant, and will not eliminate us from their lives.


The ability to listen is a fundamental thing in maintaining a good relationship. When we allow ourselves to listen to other people, it not only gives us insight into their thoughts, but it also makes the other person feel worthy of being listened to. Whether it's our parents or friends, teachers or students, being listened to increases our self-esteem and saturates our hearts with reassurance and consolation.


Having a good relationship doesn't mean that you never disagree about anything. Conflict occurs on some level in all relationships - it is an inevitable part of two unique individuals becoming closer and sharing time with each other. You might want to see one movie, they might want to see another, you might want to see your friends in the weekend, and they might want you to spend the whole weekend with them.

It is therefore essential that you know how to deal with conflicts - large or small - when they arise. It is important not to freak out: stay calm and honest about what you need and how you feel. The more you talk about the difficulties, the easier it will become to feel more comfortable speaking truthfully with your partner. And it does take time because talking honestly in times of conflict can be scary, especially with people we really care about.



It's important to remember that learning about how to work things out together is part of every relationship, and everyone will do it differently. Relationships are never easy to navigate, it takes a lot of compromise from both parties to build a happy healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is one where:
• both partners are willing to negotiate fair solutions to conflict
• you listen to each other non-judgementally and try to understand and value each other's point of view
• both partners will be willing to accept responsibility for themselves and admit when they could have said or done something differently
• you feel safe to talk openly and truthfully and give and receive emotional support and understanding.

It is also important not to try to change anyone else. Being in a relationship where you're just hoping that they'll change is unhealthy for both of you. You will just get frustrated waiting for them to change, while they will get frustrated not being accepted for who they are. When you gently start to change some of your own ideas and behaviours, your relationships improve too. Knowing what you expect from a relationship, and what you're not prepared to put up with is vital.


This list of 10 rules for a healthy relationship is by no means exhaustive but is a good start to building a healthy romantic relationship with your partner.Whether you have just started dating or are looking for ways to improve your long term relationship these rules should be taken into consideration.

1. Like Yourself
Do you surround yourself with friends you don’t like? Most people choose not to make friends with people they don’t like, so how can anyone like you if you don’t like yourself?! Learn to like yourself so you become someone others like to be around.

2. Choose Partners Wisely
It is easy to get carried away when someone new showers us with gifts or we can’t tell the difference between love and lust but are these good reasons to get into a long term relationship with someone? When choosing a new partner think carefully about them, how do they treat family and friends, would you choose that person to be a friend, are there any aspects of their character that trouble you, do you share values and goals. It is difficult to be so honest with yourself in the first rush of romance but if you are seriously thinking about investing yourself in a relationship with this person it is well worth taking time to explore.

3. Respect
Respect yourself and your partner. Have you ever seen a couple at a dinner party and one is constantly putting the other down in what is meant to be ‘funny’ stories? Or one partner is flirting with everyone in the room and ignoring their partner? This shows lack of respect either for your partner, yourself or both. Respect is essential to a good relationship but must be from both partners.


4. Teamwork
Think of yourselves as a team, you will spend years working, living and loving together. Learn to support each other and use your respective strengths and weaknesses to the advantage of your relationship. All relationships have good and bad times and it is particularly important to stay close and work as a team through the bad times, when you get to the good times again you will be amazed how strong your relationship has become.

5. Maintain Intimacy
Without intimacy relationships drift apart over time and couples can feel bored with each other. Make time to maintain your relationships intimacy. That doesn’t just mean sexual desires, pillow talk is an intimate practice as is a good snuggle on the sofa. Little touches and kisses as you both go about your day help to maintain intimacy.

6. Express Yourself
You may think you are sending signals that will leave your partner in no doubt what you want or need but they are not a mind reader. Whether you are upset about something, need more affection or simply want the couch recovered, you have to let them know verbally. In the long run you will save yourself a lot of hurt feelings because your partner was unable to “guess” what you wanted or needed and it will make them happy because they feel able to give you what you want or need in your relationship. Also if your partner is doing something you don’t like then tell them, don’t just hint and hope they get the message and stop.


7. Learn To Listen
Whether your partner wants to tell you a deep dark secret or just waffle about their day, learn to really listen to them. There is often no need to give an opinion or offer advise, just having someone that really listens to you can strengthen a relationship. When your partner speaks to you try to stop what you are doing and look at them.

8. You Are Not Always Right
Learn the rules for arguing in a relationship and don’t allow hurt feelings to turn into resentment. It is natural to think your point of view is the right one and it is hard to learn that sometimes either you are not right or there simply isn’t a right, just different points of view. Also learn what it is worth arguing about, the toothpaste tube is NOT worth a prologed fight and not speaking for a week!!

9. Say Sorry
Don’t allow pride to stand in your way, if you realise you were wrong about something then say sorry. All relationships have arguments but to have a happy relationship you must be willing to kiss and make up. Consider the importance of the argument, if it was about the toothpaste tube and you feel you were right what is the problem with apologising anyway just to finish the fight.


10. Be Spontaneous
This doesn’t mean you have to whisk them off to Paris or go bungie jumping but routine can become boring. If you know your partner will cook spag bol every Wednesday night or always washes the car at 10am Sunday morning then life becomes monotonous and it’s easy for one or both partners to look outside the relationship for a little excitement. Alter your routine sometimes, wake up on Sunday morning and decide to go to a flea market or walk in the park with bare feet. Do small unexpected things to surprise your partner and keep them interested in you as a person.

Source : http://www.country-couples.co.uk/datingtips/10-rules-for-a-healthy-relationship/

Spark Your Enthusiasm

“The real secret of success is enthusiasm” - Walter Chrysler

“Enthusiasm releases the drive to carry you over obstacles and adds significance to all you do “ - Norman Vincent Peale

“Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit” - Gordon Parks




The word enthusiasm is derived from the Greek word, enthousiasmos, which means to be inspired or possessed by a divine being. Enthusiasm is an incredibly powerful tool to create momentum. Enthusiasm can also be used to combat fear and nervousness and it can even create temporary energy and willpower. Being enthusiastic also creates an overall feeling of happiness and well-being that makes it worthwhile regardless of its positive side-effects. Enthusiasm is the means of propelling you towards your successes. It aids you in overcoming various obstacles while you work towards achieving your dreams as you move beyond your reactions to negativity by replacing them with positive reinforcements. Enthusiasm increases your confidence and desire to work on your goals. Whatever your desire is in life, make sure it is something you can do with enthusiasm


WAYS TO SPARK OFF ENTHUSIASM

1. Passion
Genuine enthusiasm can only be sustained about something you are truly passionate about. Anyone can get themselves hyped up over a boring situation for the moment, but sustained enthusiasm can only come when you deeply care about something. Don’t spend your time pursuing things that you aren’t passionate about. Passion provides the fuel for enthusiasm.

2. Energy
Enthusiasm and energy are very closely linked. Being energetic makes it far more likely for you to be enthusiastic and enthusiasm can literally create the energy you need to get going. Energy comes mostly from a healthy lifestyle. Exercise, eat right and get plenty of rest and water is the first step.

3. Physiology
Think about how you act when you are enthusiastic. Smiling, moving around more and having more expressive body language are likely key characteristics. By making the conscious effort to behave more enthusiastically, you will start to feel more enthusiastic. After a few minutes you will probably create the kind of enthusiasm that your body language suggests.

4. Countering Fear and Nervousness
Acting incredibly enthusiastic will start by masking any nervousness in your body language and speaking. Once you’ve started to create that enthusiasm within yourself, fear and nervousness will be blocked out of your mind. The next time you are in a situation where you think you might be nervous, try to counter with enthusiasm.

5. Building Motivation and Momentum
Enthusiastic people don’t procrastinate what they are enthusiastic about. If at all possible, create some enthusiasm in yourself. You can use the physiology technique to create some quick enthusiasm. By investing our time in our passions and taking steps to improve our energy we can create the kind of enthusiasm that will be with us when we need it for a longer period of time.

6. Improving Communication
Enthusiasm is a great communication tool. It grants you to a lot more confidence than you might otherwise have without appearing arrogant or boastful. By leveraging enthusiasm it is far easier to communicate with others and the quality of that communication is greatly improved. Enthusiasm centers your focus outside of your own ego which separates you from your need to protect it. When you don’t need to protect your ego, you can enter any communication situation without fear or worry.

Source : http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2006/05/02/enthusism/

In order for you to increase your enthusiasm, you will need to recognize when your enthusiasm is ebbing and then make the proper corrections to work towards the other end of that spectrum. It happens to the best of us. However, to venture on with persistence, we can regain or rekindle our passion for enthusiasm about any situation we may encounter.

You can enhance your sense of enthusiasm by staying contently focused on your positive beliefs and those positive affirmations and reminders that can aid you in overcoming any type of negative event in your life as they happen. You can do this best by keeping the positive principals and patterns that you are working to develop in the front of you mind while you educate yourself by reading and learning all you can. Once you begin and are committed to developing an increase of enthusiasm, it will become second nature. You can easily replace any negative influence with the positive influences that you most desire. Enthusiasm inspires your sense of self worth, your courage and your sense of creativity.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kevin_Sinclair

The benefits of enthusiasm are vast. From improving productivity, social skills, and confidence to reducing fears and nervousness, enthusiasm is an incredibly powerful tool. Remember that long-term enthusiasm is a skill that needs to be developed. Focusing on your passions and working on your own personal energy will give you the base you need for enthusiasm. Like a spark, guiding your physiology can create a fiery enthusiasm for anything you do. Utilize that enthusiasm and you can get the most out of your life!

Establishing Effective Supervision

Effective supervision requires supervisors to be knowledgeable and skilled in the research field (Donald et al., 1995; McQueeney, 1996; Sheehan 1994).They are also expected to take the lead in establishing a quality of relations which will give their students access to the knowledge and skills they possess (Ballard and Clanchy, 1993) and to have counselling skills (Hockey, 1997; Zuber-Skerrit, 1994). Students not only expect their supervisors to have the knowledge and ability to supervise in a particular area of research but also want them to be reasonable, serious, supportive of their working in good times and bad, and approachable (Moses, 1985). Moses (1992) considers that supervisors should act as mentors and that a mentoring relationship requires mutual aspect based on high academic standards, similar interests and regular contact (Norhasni Z.A, 2008: 108).

I’ve encountered numerous students' horror stories about their unpleasant experiences as supervisees. Some describe "busy" supervisors or those who lacked interest in their supervisees and the supervision process. Some cite supervisors who seemed most interested in putting in the minimum required time with as little work. Others remember mismatches in theoretical orientation — either in the work we do or in critical personality traits. For those who have communication problems with their supervisors, here are some ways that you can think of to improve your supervisor-supervisee relationship:-

1. If communication with your supervisor is poor or non existent, and has been from the beginning, don't blame yourself. It's also not a good idea to try to change your supervisor's ways; it won’t work. Instead, focus on what you can do to improve the situation. Good communication skills can be learned. If you’re having trouble connecting with your supervisor in a satisfying way, the key to better communication is understanding your supervisor’s personality and communication style, as well as your own.

2. Don’t wait until you get into serious problems before knocking on your supervisor’s door. Even if your supervisor keeps her distance, as a seasoned researcher, she should be able to provide appropriate guidance, and, one hopes, a neutral perspective. Even if you feel that your supervisor tends to place his or her interests above your own, initiating communication on a regular basis will give you the opportunity to voice your concerns.

3. Arrange for a practical, regularly repeated form and different kinds of regular meetings, as required by each work phase. This provides a backbone for work and arranges it into phases. Meeting frequently and regularly with your supervisor, asking relevant questions, and documenting her input will increase the probability that good communication flows in both directions and that your research is in line with what your supervisor wants and expects.

4. On the other hand, for meetings to be meaningful, the student must attempt to systematically improve the work as previously agreed or as a reaction to agreements. The supervisor's time (and opportunities for his/her own research) must also be respected.Suggest a time of day when a meeting is likely to be most successful. Is he more focused first thing in the morning? Then make your appointment before he is swamped with other priorities.

5. Informal, spontaneous communication plays an important role in building relationships and establishing trust. Informal chats about work or other common interests can help build rapport, and the more comfortable you and your supervisor are with each other, the better. A good rapport based on trust and mutual respect can be a great asset. The most crucial form of communication takes place during regular, short, face-to-face meetings between just you and your supervisor.

6. Go to your meeting with a written list of questions and concerns. Be specific; it won’t do any good to ask, “So, how do you think I’m progressing?” A question like that will just encourage your supervisor to respond in general terms or say something encouraging but meaningless, or--worse--disparaging but meaningless. If you need guidance on how to move your research forward, for example, come to your meeting with two or three of your own ideas about how to proceed. Give your supervisor enough context to be able to provide you with helpful input.

7. During the meeting, take notes and jot down your supervisor's suggestions, gauge your supervisor's enthusiasm and interest by paying attention to body language and other non verbal cues. At the end of the meeting, thank your supervisor for her time and immediately send a follow up e-mail that summarizes what you discussed. That way, you’ll have a record of your questions or concerns and your supervisor’s responses. sending an e-mail at the end of every month, with a brief summary of the experiments you’ve done and results you’ve achieved, is another effective way of keeping your supervisor up-to-date.

A successful relationship relies on the devotion of both the thesis supervisor and the student. Fostering effective communication with a supervisor, particularly if he or she is a poor communicator or difficult to approach, is a skill that will serve you well throughout your career. Good communication is critical! Make sure that you know what is expected of you and what you can expect of your thesis supervisor.