There are some people who want to talk on and on about themselves with little regard for the person they are conversing with. And while it is human nature to think of oneself first, it is completely selfish and unwise to think exclusively about yourself and have little or no interest at all in other people.
Alfred Adler, the Austrian medical doctor and founder of the school of Individual Psychology, wrote, "It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others."
So for relationship success, here's how sincere interest works:
If you are able to show sincere interest in other people, they usually respond favorably because you have made them feel more important. But if the interest you show is not perceived as sincere, they will feel like you're just being patronizing or condescending.
So being sincere in your manner is really the key to showing interest. The problem is that it is hard to be sincere when you're not a sincere person. Sincerity comes from caring about your fellow human being as you would yourself.
For some people, it's easier to develop interest in others by looking at each person as someone to learn from. Studying how other people think, feel, and behave can provide valuable lessons on what to emulate as well as what not to in life.
If you're trying to impress other people, don't make the common mistake of talking too much about yourself. You'll find that the reverse approach is more effective. The more that you let the other people talk and allow yourself to be impressed by them, the more likely they will be captivated and impressed by your unexpected interest and attention.
The Bottom Line
There are many strategies and techniques for improving your communication with others. But your effectiveness with other people is more largely determined by your sincere interest in them. You will gain the respect and cooperation of other people by first giving of yourself with your attention, compassion, empathy, and interest. This simple and powerful idea is important in dating, love relationships, and everyday personal & professional conversations.