Wednesday, May 13, 2009

You Know You're Getting Older When.....

You Know You're Getting Older When.....

* You and your teeth don't sleep together.

* You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

* At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

* Your back goes out, but you stay home.

* When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

* It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

* When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

* When happy hour is a nap.

* When you're on vacation, and your energy runs out before your money does.

* When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.

* When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

* When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

* Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

* It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

* Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

* Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

* You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

* The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

* Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

* The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

* It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

* Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.

* You look for your glasses for half an hour, and they were on your head the whole time.

* You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.

* You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

* You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

* You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

* You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

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